Didn’t Even Make A Sound

Yep, my last day at the nursing home is complete, and another door in my life has closed, quickly and quietly.

I can’t say I felt like it was my LAST DAY. I was training my replacement (also named Amy…I think my boss partially hired her so he wouldn’t have to learn a new name. Plus, she’s already better at the job than I ever was so…good choice) so it was a different kind of day, i.e. it went much faster with two people working.

I actually got done on time! On my last day!

I said a few goodbyes, felt a little sad, hugged my Ray (my favorite old man) and got many ‘good lucks.’

(I think I have to go back next week because I accidentally stole the key…but I’ll worry about that later.)

I just can’t believe I’m done. Like every major moment in my life, it feels surreal.

Well, the ending of this job isn’t so major…but the moving part is!! I don’t quite believe this is really my life.

As I swiped my time card for the last time, I reflected on the past few months at this job. Did I learn anything?

I think I did. I think that dealing with the elderly actually drew me out of my shell a little, and the constant reminder that life is short, while definitely an up-and-down experience, is also an invaluable lesson. I also honed my ability to talk to families and older people–I think I’m good at that; I’ve always made friends easier with those older than me. Old soul? (Good thing I’m working with my peers and those younger than me in just a  few weeks…)

I walked out the door, with Kenny Rogers (had to look that one up) on the radio, and as the door shut behind me (and I scrambled to type in the code so the alarm wouldn’t go off–the alarm that signals a possible escapee is nearby) I heard these words. It was a this-is-the-soundtrack-of-my-life moment:

image courtesy of wikipedia: Kenny Rogers

“You’ve got to know when to hold ’em
Know when to fold ’em
Know when to walk away
know when to run
You never count your money
When you’re sittin’ at the table
There’ll be time enough for countin’
When the dealin’s done.”

(Kenny Rogers, “The Gambler”).

Seems like a good lesson. I hope that I remember those words throughout my new adventure. Sometimes I feel trapped in the commitment I’m making–to a job, a city, a guy. While ultimately I feel that all of these commitments will make me happy and enrich my life, I also want to remind myself that sometimes, I can walk away, I can run, I can fold and start over.

While this job did continually impress upon me the true fragility of life, I also need to remember that life, while fleeting, is never set. The wheels, they keep a-turnin.’

When I took this job, I simply needed the money. I never considered the connections I would make with strangers, strangers who would remind me to consider what I want out life.

I still don’t exactly know what I want this life to be for me…but I’m asking the question, and that has to be a good start.

Right?

P.S. I’ve come full circle since I started this blog…unemployed again! But not for long (dot dot dot)!

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