Snide

I know it’s Christmastime and a jolly happy time of year. I love Christmas, don’t get me wrong, and during my commute, I often turn on the radio and tear up at the Christmas miracle stories.

However, I also ride the light rail (yeah RTD! Well, mostly.) and what I’ve come to realize that while I have a heart of mush, I also have a brain of snide.

It’s an interesting combination, which has led me to make these observations during my commute:

1. Chivalry is dead. All those little punks on the subway–you know, the ones where you can hear their music despite the headphones–never give up their seats to the little old lady with the grocery bags. Which leaves  me to do it, because let’s face it, someone has to. They also never give up their seats to the cute girl in her adorable-but-kind-of-painful-new-boots and skirt. (That’s me.)

2. I get really annoyed when people chew loudly. It is easily my biggest pet peeve. Especially when the lady sitting right across from me is already taking up the entire seat–then she proceeds to chew through cereal, crackers, chips, and cheese. That’s how I annoyed I was–I even got irritated by the cheese. I never get irritated by the cheese. (That sounds like a lame farting joke. It’s not. I just really love cheese).

3. I also am not a morning person. This is not a bulletin, but it is further exacerbated by people in my way. Either on the road or on the train.

4. I don’t understand when it became okay for someone to sit on the floor behind the girl in the skirt with sheer hose. Even if you didn’t want to look, you still could (and let’s face it, probably did). It was awkward, kid.

5. It’s really smart of them to set the buttons so that when you need to enter or exit the train in freezing  weather, you have to push at your stop. But sometimes people need a little help understanding that: I get it. Don’t worry, sir in the blue coat: I, too, panicked when the door didn’t open automatically.

6. Many different people commute. I like it. (The diversity, I mean, not the commuting.) Probably the same population as the entire town of Bozeman commutes in and out of Denver. I think that once I get over my shyness I’ll meet all sorts of interesting characters on the light rail. Besides old men that already talk to me. (They always talk to me. All over the world. Name the place and some old man has chatted me up, even if we didn’t speak the same language.)

7. People are so generous at Christmas. My boss has this theory (which I tend to agree with) that if people were as generous and caring as they are at Christmas, we wouldn’t have any problems. He also has an idea of running for office based on “Christmastime values.” I think he could be a hit.

8. T0 the lady with the cutest black lab ever, I want your dog to be my friend on the light rail every day. I know he’s your service dog so I won’t steal him or anything, but maybe we could coordinate schedules.

9. I live really far away from downtown Denver. If we didn’t have such an awesome apartment I would hate the commute way more.

10. The light rail still makes me feel excited to be living in the big city. Even when I spilled my coffee on myself. Even when that guy spilled his coffee on me. Even with the brain of snide, I still get excited.

That concludes my list. Merry almost Christmas, everyone!

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One thought on “Snide

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