Today, I wore this to work:
It is by far not the craziest thing I’ve ever worn. (My affinity for orange should be a clue there. And my favorite shirt used to say “Donde estas mi pantalones?” And no, I did not fully understand what that meant at the time).
My outfit consisted of a blue dress, black cardigan, the boooots (I have a serious boot addiction) and, of course, the mustard yellow tights.
I love my mustard tights. They’re fun and bright and remind me of fall and brighten up any dull outfit. Since I have to actually dress like a professional now, most of my clothes haven’t been very colorful. So I needed these tights.
(Backstory: I bought them on sale at a Macy’s on Black Friday in Seattle. With my grandma. She seemed fairly shocked by my color choice, and her favorite color is red. Maybe she was just shocked that I wear them with skirts that are above my knees. But still. Some of my cousins show more cleavage than I do and they’re like, 15. Plus my sister insists on wearing everything XXS even though she should totally switch to medium by now. Not that you shouldn’t flaunt it if you’ve got it, sister. And cousins.)
The response to my outfit was unexpected. It was quite a sensation.
“I love your outfit! Those earrings! Your hair!” *Said by one of my co-workers at our monthly breakfast meeting at Snoooooze!
“Amy! Look at your boots!” *Another co-worker.
You’re getting the picture: for the first half of the day, I was a hit. Once the kids started arriving, however…
“Miss Amy, did you tan your legs?” *Several kids said this in jest. One kid said it earnestly. But really, who has ever had legs that color? Not even my lifeguard co-worker in high school had legs that color, and she had a natural tan plus a fake tan.
“What are you wearing, Miss Amy? You look like a witch.” *Said by two kids on separate occasions, so this was not a copycat case.
“You look like Alice in Wonderland!”
“No, she looks like Lady Gaga! (GaGa?)” *Two kids arguing over who I looked like.
“I’ve got it! You look like an Oompa Loompa!” *My always sweet and complimentary boyfriend. Most of the kids are too young to understand the joys of Willy Wonka as portrayed by Gene Wilder and his creepy Oompas or else I’m sure I would have heard this before. At least his reference dates him.
So there you have it folks. I’m a weird congolmeration of two beloved fiction characters, one of our most insane (and well-known) current pop stars, and an evil lady who lures children into her cabin in the woods.
Although maybe I could be a nice witch.
But they probably don’t wear mustard tights.