Needing is One Thing and Getting’s Another

My peeps! Long time no see.

You guys should know something about me: I love quotes. So today, I’m going to take a few quotes I’ve heard/found recently and describe some events in my life. Because it’s been awhile, and this post seems like so much fun to write!

“I’ve been waiting for months, waiting for years, waiting for you to change. Aw, but there ain’t much that’s dumber than pinning your hopes on the change in another so…Needing is one thing, and getting, getting’s another.” –OK Go

{This is a new song I found by Ok Go. You should check out the video here–it’s schweet. Anyway. I’ve learned a lot these last few weeks about getting vs. needing. I need respect from the people in my life. Do I always get it? No. Do I deserve it? Yes, who doesn’t? But the most important lesson from this song, and from my recent life, is that you can’t rely on anyone else to get you what you need. But dang, wouldn’t it be easier that way?}

“May the bridges I burn light the way.”

{I am officially not staying at my job next year. So scary! But hey, I just have to keep thinking that what I’m doing now and other facets of my past will light the way. I know I made the right choice. Most of the time. It’s gonna be hella hard to leave these kids, though. Even if they do call me Lady Gaga once a week.}

“Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do.”

{This quote is particularly important as I’m beginning the process of being interviewed for graduate school. It’s kind of INTIMIDATING. I just have to remind myself that if I don’t get in–although I totally will, right?–it doesn’t mean this door is closed. It just means I have to try again. It just means that even if it seems unlikely, if your gut is telling you what you are supposed to be doing, go for it, baby. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you only live once.}

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.”

{This is one of the most important things I have ever heard. Something I need to tell myself repeatedly, because I think the way I think and I don’t know any other way. Oh, but the joys of psychology show us the power of the brain, and the power of a brain change.}

“What I love most about my home is who I share it with.” –Tad Carpenter

{Okay, this one is a little cliche. I was lucky enough to visit my family and friends in Bozeman this past weekend: they are my heart. But my heart is here, too, with the Boyfriend in our apartment…Oh and our NEW CAR, what! Well, mostly his new car. I am an AmeriCorps… Speaking of, as my job gets tougher, I’ve also realized that home needs to be separate from work, and I am enjoying it here more and more as I/we make it a home. Now we have memories here: like the time the Boyfriend had to pick me up from work because I was so sick and had dragged myself to a field trip and held in the sickness just long enough to puke on the freeway. Every time I pass the spot I smile.  I’m sure the Boyfriend is not quite so fond of this memory. But still, that’s just one of many. I am a lucky girl.}

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, darling.” 

{Every time I hear this quote I feel a little bit better about everything. Maybe I don’t have to be perfect and try to fix everything at once. It’s hard to be happy when you’re mean to yourself–but it’s a hard lesson. It’s my habit to get angry at myself when something goes wrong, when I make a mistake. But isn’t that what life is about? How would we get anywhere, otherwise? My job is difficult because the atmosphere is not conducive to mistakes–I practically have an anxiety attack when I mess up. One thing I’m learning: I mess up a LOT. And is it because I’m a bad person? NO. Sometimes I don’t think, sometimes I assume, sometimes I think differently, sometimes I think and forget. So sue me, world! I think I learn from my mistakes, but what I’m really learning is that I NEED to make mistakes and I need to be okay making mistakes. Because, my peeps, mistakes are the way of the world and the world is all we’ve got.}

“When life gives you curves, flaunt them.”

{I trying to lose weight and be healthy. It’s sometimes UGH but I do feel better. Mostly, I want to be okay with how I look, as long as I’m healthy. And even if I do lose a ton of weight, which I am not planning, I developed when I was ten and I’m never gonna lose my curves. It’s about time to just embrace ’em, already.}

There’s a quick update of my life the past little while. Forgive me for being so emo…but it is a Monday.

p.s. All of the other quotes besides the two credited came from Pinterest. 🙂

2012!

Happy happy NEW YEAR!

It’s 2012. Can you believe it?

I hope you all rang in the new year and rang out the holiday season with lots of joy. While I was with the BF, which is always a good way to spend the holiday, I’m fighting of sickness–yet again–so it was a mellow evening.

Which gave me lots of time to think.

HIGHLIGHTS OF 2012 (in no particular order):

1. Moving to Denver!!

2. Getting my job! (A blanket statement that includes all of my new friends and new experiences that have gone along with said job).

3. Moving in with the Boyfriend!

4. Finally visiting Portland, Oregon!

5. Explorations in my new city!

6. Thanksgiving in Seattle and Christmas in Bozeman.

7. Starting this BLOG!

8. Skiing more!

9. Spending a few solid months living with my parents before moving out for REALS.

10. And, surprisingly, working at the nursing home!

‘Twas a good year, my friends, and I especially loved sharing it with you!

Now for 2012…here is what I want to happen. Resolutions, you might say.

1. Get into graduate school. (Say what? Stay tuned on that front!)

2. Make my first overseas excursion with the Boyfriend in tow. Poor thing, he always gets left behind! Or, at least finally go to New England to check out their fall foliage, baby.

3. Complete my job (it’s only a one-or-two-year commitment–I love it but I’m also ready to really start my career!) and continue to learn from it, and continue to make relationships with my kiddies.

4. Really commit myself to eating right and exercising.

5. That one’s so important it needs two. I’ve signed up for a long-term yoga class and this eight-week program to get you fit. I think it’s called Insanity and I’m scared, but I need to get my butt in gear.

6. Learn to be financially responsible. I need to stop spending money on boots (I have a serious illness) and save up for stuff! Like trips. I’m jonesing.

7. Scuba dive again! I loved it–read about my first experience here and my training adventures here.

8. Cook more. In addition, make bread. I got Artisan Breads in Five Minutes a Day (!!!) and I want to make sandwich bread and bread to give away as gives and sugary breads…pretty much all of them. On that note, I also have Mastering the Art of French Cooking that I’ve barely cracked open (it’s scary!) and I want to try to cook some truly complicated stuff out of that. Like a duck.

9. Actually learn to crochet. I sound like such a housewife. And maybe learn to knit too.

10. WRITE MORE. Keep tending to this baby.

11. Worry less. LET goooooo.

There you have it. I have a good feeling about 2012, and I hope all of you do too!!!! xo.

It’s Not a Competition

Or so I tried to tell myself this morning at my first (of regular) yoga class.

I’ve taken the random class before, and I think I used a DVD a few times, but I’ve done lots of random classes and used many random DVDs in my quest for fitness.

A post for another time.

Today, I started yoga with the knowledge that it will be a weekly/bi-weekly event in my life for the foreseeable future.

At the Opportunity Center, a nonprofit group is providing yoga, for free, for the residents of the housing project, and my boss (and the O Center) is letting me and my co-workers join for free, as well!

I was (am) excited about this–my main issue with working out (well, besides lack of motivation) is that I’m really busy and at the end of the day, I collapse in bed or hop in the tub with my Nook (safely sealed in a Ziploc). Incorporating it into the workday? Perfect! What could go wrong?

My competitive nature, that’s what.

Don’t worry, nothing terrible happened–I didn’t seriously injure myself, or anyone else, and the only thing showing any damage is the table, perhaps–but I am really sore.

If my co-worker–who has never done yoga–can bend her body into a pretzel, why shouldn’t I be able to?

She’s already the marathon runner. I’m supposed to be the yoga “expert” of the group, can’t I have this one little thing?

Nope.

She’s folding her body into a position that instantly sends every muscle into SCREAM on me, but I keep trying.

Now, I can barely walk.

But hey, I still feel kind of limber and loose, and I am determined that, by the time this class is over, I will  be able to do this:

That’s totally possible!

Just you wait and see.