It Ain’t All Flowers and Candlelight

It’s almost CHRISTMAS! My favorite time of the year.

A time to spend with loved ones. Which I am–don’t get me wrong–but I’m also learning something about my relationship (something that I’ve learned again and again, and each time it strikes me anew): it ain’t all flowers and candlelight. (Although you can read some about our adorable romance here.)

Specifically, splitting holidays. Because we live together, both of our families expected us to go to each respective house. Even after trips to Vegas for a family wedding and a trip out to see them at Thanksgiving.

Well, we’re broke, and we aren’t married, so we won’t be spending Christmas together, unfortunately. And yet the majority of my friends in Bozeman are bringing their respective significant others home for the holidays. Which means, I’ll be some kind of ninth wheel–somehow, even when I have a boyfriend, I never have a date in this town.

It’s the Bozeman jinx.

It’s also one of the those times where I catch myself saying “this would be so much easier if we were married. Then we’d just go to one house and the other house would have to suck it up.”

Don’t worry–I usually catch myself. The thought of marriage still makes me pee my pants.

(Plus, my mother is not the type to “suck it up,” but would nag me so I would visit not long after Christmas, anyway.)

And as the holidays strike, the epidemic of engagements begins again. I fall into that trap of wanting to be married, of wondering why I’m not engaged yet and why (insert chosen name here) gets to be happily planning their wedding.

However, folks, one thing I’ve learned: marriage does not solve everything. When I was about fourteen, I thought getting a boyfriend would solve everything. When I actually got a boyfriend (about four years later) I thought that going abroad as I had always wanted would fix everything. Then, when that didn’t work, I thought changing my majors would make everything perfect. And so on down the line.

The point of this story is: there’s always something else that would make life absolutely perfect.

These days, the BF and I are pretty happy, and I can’t imagine marriage making anything better or changing anything.

Except we’d be a lot poorer, if we had a wedding. (Well, I will insist on a honeymoon, at least).

And maybe we’d be together for Christmas.

But, life isn’t perfect. Not even at Christmas.

(Although all the pretty lights really do help. AND we can’t forget the plethora of Christmas cookies.)

I think this is what growing up is.

NOW I just need to…getintogradschoollearntocleanfixmycargotoparis…